Paella puzzles us. We've never had it except when it contained expensive, overcooked shellfish. We've never seen a recipe for it that didn't involve overcooking expensive shellfish. This all seems to be in the service of creating a crust on the $6 per pound Valencia rice that's also utterly essential for the dish. We're sure somebody makes great paella. But the list doesn't include us.
There's another Spanish (or Catalan) technique that we've always preferred to paella. We call it "fideo," which is really just Spanish for pasta. It's a kind of stew that involves building a spicy broth and then cooking inch-long sticks of vermicelli in it. They give off their starch and create a spicy goop that you mix with a fresh mayonnaise spiked with raw garlic. The combination is unctuous and delicious.
If a Catalan grandmother read this recipe, she'd probably dive straight for her rosary. But it reflects what we had lying around: a link of Spanish sausage, a half of a bell pepper, and some leftover roast cauliflower. It would have been greatly improved by a handful of bay scallops, or mussels, or calamari rings tossed in at the end, but when you don't have them, well you don't.
Garlic Aioli
Make this first, as you need time for the garlic to infuse the mayonnaise. You can substitute store bought mayonnaise mixed with garlic, water, and parsley, but it won't react in quite the same amazing way when it hits the fideo.
1 egg yolk
1 tsp lemon juice
1 cup canola oil
1 tbsp chopped garlic
1-2 tbsp finely chopped parsley
Salt
1. Place egg yolk, salt and lemon juice in the bottom of a small mixing bowl.
2. Put the oil in a cup next to the bowl.
3. Take a spoon in one hand and a whisk in the other.
4. Whisk the egg yolk mixture briskly and unceasingly, while dribbling oil drop by drop from the spoon. It should start to form a semi solid.
5. After half the oil is incorporated, you can pour the rest into the mixture in a thin stream.
6. When finished, stir in garlic and parsley and set aside for at least 15 minutes.
7. Loosen with water until it's just pourable.
Sausage Fideo
1 large sausage (uncooked Spanish chorizo—not Mexican chorizo. We've also made it with breakfast sausage, and simply increased the spicing)
1 medium onion, chopped
1 carrot, chopped
2/3 bell pepper chopped (all three of the above ingredients should be roughly equivalent)
2 tbsp or more chopped garlic
2 tsp each of bittersweet, sweet, and smoked paprika (or what you have)
½ tbsp oregano
1 tsp cayenne pepper
1 big tbsp tomato paste
1 cup canned tomatoes, tomato sauce, etc. Puree them if you can
1 tbsp sherry vinegar
1 tsp sugar (these two ingredients are optional, but if you leave out one, leave out the other)
½ cup roasted cauliflower (optional, or substitute scallops, shellfish, etc.)
1/2 -1 pound fideo (or take the same amount of vermicelli and break it into small pieces)
Olive oil
Parsley to garnish
1. Cut sausage in slices and put oil in 10 inch frying pan. Cook over low heat to release oil, then at the end turn up the heat to brown.
2. Remove sausage and pour out most of the oil. Wipe to remove about half of what's left. (Yes, we know we're throwing out flavor, but you don't want that much flavor.)
3. Add more oil and sautee onions, bell peppers, and carrots over medium heat until onions are translucent.
4. Add paprikas and tomato paste and sautee for 2 minutes or so to bloom.
5. Add sherry vinegar and cook for 15 seconds.
6. Add tomatoes, oregano, and about one cup water.
7. Add salt and sugar, and a few pieces of sausage (again, don't add all or they'll totally take over)
8. Simmer for approximately 15 minutes, adding water as necessary.
9. Taste and adjust.
10. Add about 1/2 cup water and the fideo. Be careful with the fideo. It's going to release a lot of starch and puff up.
11. Cook until pasta is done. Add water to maintain a thick but viscous consistency.
12. Add the rest of the sausage and cauliflower and heat through.
13. Fold in parsley.
14. Remove from heat. Serve in a bowl with a good dollop of aioli. Diners should mix the two together before eating.
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