Leftover Broiled Seafood Fritters

Yuck. A simple summation of the leftovers of most dinners you get at a seafood restaurant. Soggy fries. Sad scallops. Sole wrapped around crab stuffing that won’t stand a bit of reheating. Most people understandably say “no thanks” to a doggy bag.

Don’t. It’s actually quite easy to turn this pile of unloved leftovers into a tasty lunch. The key is to roll with the flavors you’ve been given, and don’t forget to drag home the fries.

Seafood Fritters

½-1 cup leftover seafood, broiled or baked
The leftover fries or potatoes that came with it
1-2 eggs
Breadcrumbs
Vegetable oil

1.       Cut the seafood into small pieces.

2.       Tear the fries apart or cut them into smallish pieces as well. In a bowl, mash them up a bit with your fingers.

3.       Add them both together and break in 1-2 eggs

4.       Now, add breadcrumbs until your mixture is not sopping wet and holds together when you make a ball out of it.

5.       Heat a pan over medium heat and add oil.

6.       Make a small, one inch ball of the mixture, and flatten it, rounding the sides so it makes a little disk.

7.       Fry it in the pan until it’s browned nicely on both sides.

8.       Remove and taste. You’ll probably be fine with the seasoning, since you’re starting with a restaurant dish that is likely salted half to death. But you may want more pepper or something.

9.       Now make balls about 2 inches in size and flatten them down the same way. We usually make them about the size of sliders. But this is up to you.

10.   Fry until nicely browned on both sides. Drain on a paper towel.

11.   Serve with a sauce of your choice (perhaps that leftover tartar or cocktail sauce you snagged from the restaurant.)

Stuffed Clams

Our summer cottage lies on the coast near a rich store of shellfish, which can be extracted relatively easily. The problem is that the sea floor is mucky, and while the mussels are always good, the clams often end up dirty. To defeat this, we allow them to feast for a week on cornmeal and water in our refrigerator drawer. They expel the dirt and live quite happily until we're ready.

If you've never done stuffed clams before, they're really worth a shot. This recipe is the standard one in our area, although traditionally, they are cooked with a slice of bacon over the top. We put the bacon inside instead.

Cheapness note: Although we used all fresh clams, you can buy enough fresh ones for the shells and then fill out the recipe using canned clams.

Stuffed Clams

20-25 large clams, shucked, chopped with juice reserved
8-10 clam shells
4 thick slices bacon
2 small onions, diced
2 stalks celery, diced
2 medium carrots, diced
4 cloves garlic, chopped fine
1 lemon
Breadcrumbs
Butter

1. Preheat your oven to 425.
2. Cut the bacon into small pieces, and fry with a little olive oil until done. Set aside.
3. Sautee the onions, celery, and carrots in butter over low heat.
4. Just before the onion is translucent, add garlic and sautee for several minutes.
5. In a large bowl, add clams, garlic, vegetables, a small amount of lemon juice, and some of the reserved clam juice.
6. Don't be shy with the breadcrumbs. Add a lot and more clam juice and mix. The consistency should be thick and easily stick to your hands.
7. It's a good idea to fry a bit of the mixture to ensure that it will taste good.
8. Butter the inside of the clam shells.
9. Spray your hands with nonstick spray and go to work. First form meatball like pieces. Compress them a little, and then press them into the shells so they crest over the edge.
10. If you aren't planning on living forever, lay a slice of bacon over each one.
11. Bake for 10-15 minutes until lightly browned.
12. Enjoy with lemon juice.

Spain On the Road Again: Beet Puree and Shrimp Pancakes

Anyone seen an episode of Spain On the Road Again? Probably not. In spite of having Mark Bittman, Gweneth Paltrow, and Mario Batali in Spain, it's a snooze fest. Four people eating and talking with very little editing. There may be four people who are witty and intelligent enough to make that work, but those guys should know their limitations.

Still, Mario's a great cook and Bittman a terrific recipe writer, so there's good stuff on the website. So far we've tried two recipes, one for a beetroot and walnut puree and another for chickpea pancakes. Here's our thoughts.

Beet Puree

The recipe is here, and it's good as is. The idea is to take some beets and walnuts and mix 'em with tahini and oil. Our tweaks include the following:

1. Roast the walnuts first and place them in the processor warm.
2. Add more tahini and less oil.
3. Withhold some of the salt and add some parmesan cheese (sounds weird, but it's good).
4. Add or garnish with fresh dill.


Shrimp Pancakes

This recipe is also great. You can find it and a useful video here.

We're old hands at making pancakes with besan, or chickpea flour, which you can find at any Indian grocery. (You can also find it at a Spanish grocery or gourmet store, but you will pay an absurd price for it.) We normally mix it with a lot of water, add cumin seeds, coriander, peppers, onions, or whatever we have lying around. And if you're fat conscious, you can cook them in a dry nonstick pan, believe it or not. They will separate from the pan.

The Spanish version involves cut up shrimp, herbs and lots of pepper. That said, we like ours a little crisper, so we use twice as much besan as white flour (something Bittman mentions). If you want it really crispy, eliminate the white flour and baking powder altogether.

Shrimp and Welsh Grits

We had never heard of shrimp and grits until recently, but there's nothing wrong with spicy sea creatures over cheesy cornmeal. Especially since shrimp's one of our favorite things to have in the freezer. You can get it reasonably cheap in flash frozen bags. Any time you want to make something, just shake a few out of the bag and they're ready to go.

Of course our "grits" aren't really grits. We'd get shot in Georgia for these grits. Real grits should have a grainy texture. Instead, we used cornmeal, which makes them smooth and silky. Cornmeal also has the signal advantage of existing in our kitchen.

Shrimp and Welsh Grits

Grits

1 cup cornmeal
4 cups water
½ pound cheddar cheese
1 tbsp Worchestershire Sauce
2 tsp dried mustard
Milk or cream
2 tbsp butter
Salt

1. Boil the water.
2. Add cornmeal in a small stream while whisking vigorously.
3. Turn heat very low, and allow to bubble slowly, for about 2 ½ hours, stirring every fifteen minutes or so. Add water as necessary.
4. When cornmeal begins to turn white, add salt, mustard, cheese, butter, and Worchesterschire sauce. Stir and add milk until the texture is how you like it.

Spicy Shrimp and Sauce

12 shrimp, peeled and deveined
2 tbsp paprika
½ tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp garlic powder
2 tsp flour
1 tbsp butter
Water or stock
½ tsp salt
Pepper
Canola oil

1. Add spices to a bowl and stir to combine.
2. Toss shrimp in spices. Allow to sit a few minutes.
3. Add 2 tbsp oil to hot frying pan.
4. Add shrimp, toss for about two minutes or cooked through.
5. Remove shrimp.
6. Add butter and flour and combine to make a roux.
7. Add ½ cup water or stock, bring to a boil, and stir. Ad more as needed.
8. Place shrimp over polenta. Pour sauce on top and garnish with parsley.

Pasta with Red Clam Sauce

The in laws have recently converted to the glycemic index and have banished sugar and refined white flour from their diets (except where pizza is concerned). They even declared war on pasta, which—so the theory goes--turns humans into hippopotami in no time flat. At first, we thought we'd point out that dried pasta is actually made from high-protein durum wheat, but we had two good reasons not to. 1) They wouldn't listen anyway. 2) It allowed us to expropriate their locker of unused pasta. That included many good specimens, including a half kilo of bucatini.

That returned us to more canned clams and one of our favorite dishes. We've been kicking this recipe around for years, making it a bunch of different ways. It wasn't originally ours, but by now, we'll claim it.

Pasta and Red Clam Sauce

1 pound pasta, cooked al dente
2 cans chopped clams
2 anchovy fillets
3/4 head garlic chopped (yeah, that much, it cooks down)
1 tsp cracked red pepper
I small can whole peeled tomatoes. (Italian ones are obviously better here. If you can't get 'em or are too cheap to pony up the funds, add a small amount of sugar).
3 tbsp chopped fresh parsley
1 tbsp lemon juice (optional)
Lots of grated parmigiana
Olive oil

1. Place oil in medium hot frying pan, and add anchovies.
2. Mash anchovies with wooden spoon until the disintegrate into the oil.
3. Add garlic and pepper and sautee for 30 seconds
4. Open the can of clams—actually, have the can of clams already opened before you start any of this. Press the lid down on the clams and drain all of the clam juice into the sauce.
5. Stir and bring to temperature. Then place tomatoes in a bowl—actually, do this before you start cooking as well. Mash them really good with your hands.
6. Pour the tomatoes into the sauce. Don't add too many, you don't want to have more tomatoes than clam juice.
7. Simmer for fifteen minutes.
8. When everything tastes great, add the clams, most of the parsley, and the lemon juice.
9. Bring back to temperature and remove from heat. Do not cook the clams very much.
10. Toss with pasta.
11. Serve garnished with parsley and lots of parmigiana cheese.

Clam Pizza

(images are clam pizza and baguettes made with the same dough)

Ever wonder what to do with those cans of clams that are always on sale? They may not be better than fresh ones, but they're a heck of a lot cheaper. When combined with tons of garlic and mozzerella cheese, they're terrific too.

Lately we've been making pizza with Peter Reinhart's versatile pain a l'ancienne dough recipe. It somehow gets around the problem that home ovens are a lot cooler than professional ones. But we're not going to share that recipe, because a) we don't plagiarize, and b) you'd be better off buying The Bread Baker's Apprentice. It is a fantastic book.

However, we're aware that others on the Internets don't share our scruples. So if you just must cut and paste those words in the Google—have at it. If you do, please feel poorly about yourself—not to mention sorry for Mr. Reinhart, whose fabulous breadmaking skills cannot have contributed positively to his long term cardiovascular health. In any case, we owe this pizza to him.

Clam Pizza
(serves 1/4 of a true gourmet)

1 serving pain a l'ancienne dough
½ can chopped clams (drained, with liquid reserved)
¼ cup chopped garlic
Shredded mozzarella
Olive oil

1. Place pizza stone in oven.
2. Preheat your oven as hot as it will go, keep heated for at least 20 minutes
3. Place cornmeal on pizza peel or back of cookie sheet.
4. Stretch and toss dough to desired shape.
5. Place on pizza peel.
6. Add clams and garlic.
7. Top with mozzarella.
8. Add a small amount of reserved clam juice.
9. Place on hot stone.
10. After eight minutes or sides of pizza are brown, remove.
11. Drizzle with olive oil
12. Serve and eat ravenously.

Octopus Ceviche

Our last hurrah with our octopus was a simple ceviche served with popcorn. Why popcorn? Ask the Ecuadorans, we're merely following orders.

When it comes to ceviche, many people are hung up on the fact that South American limes are different from North American limes. This is entirely true. And it would have a big impact on you if you wanted your ceviche exactly how mom made it—provided that mom happened to come from South America. Luckily, our remaining mom wouldn't eat octopus ceviche if it could restore her 401K to its former glory. So, we gave it a whirl with lemon juice and liked it quite a bit.

Octopus Ceviche

½ cup cooked octopus
½ jalapeno, sliced very thin
½ medium onion, sliced
1 tbsp cilantro
1 tbsp oil (neutral)
Lemon juice
Salt

1. Toss the first four ingredients together, cover with the fifth and sixth, and add the seventh to taste.
2. Wait 20 minutes and serve with popcorn.

Yellow Curry Octopus (leftover ingredients)

Thai curry is one of those things that can either be simple and quick, or absolutely backbreaking. We learned it the backbreaking way, pounding it out in heavy granite mortars at one of Thailand's ubiquitous cooking schools. My memories of the lessons include walking home, bleary eyed and dehydrated, with aching shoulders. The truth is that making your own curry paste is better, but it's something we do only once in a while.

For weeknight meals, we recommend a simpler route, and one taken by nearly every Thai family: Get it premade. You can find a tub of curry paste for a couple of bucks at any Thai market (we tend towards the Mae Ploy brand, which is a little salty, but otherwise ok). It will keep in your refrigerator forever, and be ready to kick out a cheap, quick, and delicious meal in no time.

This recipe is made by combining leftover ingredients from the Lomo Saltado and the Pasta with Octopus.

Final note: Somewhere on the internet, we found (and subsequently can't find again) a recipe where someone braised the octopus from scratch in a Thai coconut curry. This strikes us as capable of producing an infinitely better result, and we're going to try it some time.


Yellow Curry Octopus

2/3 cup octopus, cooked and skin removed
2/3 cup onions, sliced
½ cup potatoes, cut into small pieces
½ cup grape tomatoes
2 tbsp yellow curry paste (though you may need to add more)
1 can coconut milk
Sugar (start with 1-2 tsp)
Fish sauce
2 kaffir lime leaves, sliced (optional)
1 tbsp basil, chopped (Thai holy, if you can get it)

Jasmine rice, cooked

1. Heat a frying pan and oil and tomatoes and sear until skins start to break. Remove
2. Clean out pan again, heat. Then add coconut milk and heat until it starts boiling around the edges.
3. Add curry paste and stir until incorporated.
4. Add onions and potatoes, and cook until tender.
5. Taste. If necessary add sugar, fish sauce and adjust.
6. Add tomatoes, octopus, and kaffir lime leaves, and heat through.
7. Remove from heat and add the basil.
8. Serve over rice.

Pasta with Octopus

The best octopus dish we've ever had was the deceptively simple Pasta con Pulpo at the Hotel Terrasol in Grenada, Nicaragua. No, it's not Nicaraguan. The chef, Victor Chamorro, is from California, where he was executive chef at uber-ritzy supermarket Drager's in the Bay Area. He and his wife, Katya, had long dreamed of moving back to her hometown and opening a small hotel and restaurant. We're glad they didn't stop at dreaming. The hotel is cozy and the food is fantastic, a mix of local ingredients and California culinary sensibility. It's worth a long stop if you ever visit Grenada, which you should do.

This is our attempt to recreate the dish. It's a fair approximation, delicious, but not as good as the original. Don't overdo the basil; it really brings out the flavor of the octopus.

Pasta with Octopus

3/4 pound thin spaghetti(cooked normally)
1cup cooked octopus, skin removed
¾ head garlic, chopped fine
¾ cup fresh tomatoes, chopped
1 tbsp basil
Salt
Oil
Cheese for garnish

1. In a large, hot frying pan, add about 3-4 tbsp oil
2. Add garlic and cook briskly for about 15 seconds
3. Add tomatoes and a sprinkle of salt
4. Cook two minutes or so, stirring
5. Add octopus, heat through
6. Add the basil and toss through
7. Add the pasta and combine
8. Serve with cheese

How to Prep Octopus

Isn't that beautiful? A three pound octopus recently defrosted. Why this beast isn't more popular we don't know. It tastes great and it's one of the healthiest things in the world. It's extremely low in fat, high in protein, low in mercury, and has no cholesterol. It is better frozen than fresh, and it's not usually very expensive.

It also swims. It swims to nearly every great food culture in the world: Japan, China, Italy, Spain, Greece, Peru, South East Asia—need we add West Africa? There are great octopus recipes as far as your imagination can reach.

One thing. Octopus usually must be pre-cooked before using. For some reason, there are as many old wives tales about how to do this as there are about how to tell if you're carrying a boy or a girl. It's all silly. Octopus is not remotely hard to cook. You don't need to boil it with a cork, beat it with a rolling pin, or slam it into your sink. The Spanish even advise you to dunk the octopus three times in boiling water—before boiling it in water.

All you need to do is simmer it (try for around 190-200 F) until the thickest part of the tentacles are tender and you can pierce them easily with a knife. This may take a few hours, depending on its size. Think of it as a big slimy potato with eight arms.

Then you've got a great ingredient ready for anything.

Leftover Shrimp: Bisque

We live in a rural area, and usually can't find specialty ingredients to play with. This means that when the craving for seared foie gras with cherry compote hits, the only course of action is to take a cold shower. The raw and windy weather recently put us in the mood for some seafood stew. We looked longingly at the 823-step Julia Child recipe for lobster bisque, but went in a different direction using some of the only reliable seafood we can get here – bags of flash-frozen shrimp.

Shrimp Bisque

½ pound shrimp, cleaned, deveined, and shells on
15-20 extra shrimp shells (when using shrimp for stir-fries, we toss the shells into a bag in the freezer)
¼ cup brandy (E&J is fine)
¼ cup dry sherry
2 tbl tomato paste
1 cup half and half
½ cup whole milk
4 tbl flour
4 tbl plus ½ tbl butter
2 medium shallots, chopped finely
1 tbl olive oil
½ tsp cayenne pepper

1. Slowly sauté shallots with the olive oil and ½ tablespoon butter. Add a tiny sprinkle of kosher salt. Cook until they appear light purple and are soft. Add cayenne pepper.
2. Turn heat up and add tomato paste. Fry tomato paste for a minute or so, until the smell coming from the pot is very tomato-ey.
3. Add the shrimp. Cook until they curl up and are turning pink. Add the brandy and cook until it evaporates, then add the sherry and cook until it evaporates. Take the pot off the heat and cool.
4. Take the shells off the shrimp. Return the shrimp meat to the tomato mixture, and put the shells plus the extra shells from the freezer into another saucepan. Cover with 2 cups of water and simmer for 20-25 minutes. Drain the shrimp stock, discard the shells, and add the stock to the shrimp mixture. Put this mixture in batches into the food processor. Process until smooth, with only a little bit of chunkiness from the shrimp.
5. In another pot, cook the 4 tablespoons of butter with the flour until the floury smell is gone. Add the half and half and milk, and bring to the boil, or until it has thickened.
6. Add the shrimp mixture, stirring vigorously, and bring the bisque almost to a boil. Taste for seasoning.

We slurped with chopped scallions and croutons baked with garlic and thyme. The next day it made a great dip for crackers.